A Blasphemer and an Apostle

DAILY BYTE

Yesterday, we talked about the reality of silent sin. But as we well know, our lives hold many other types of more obvious sin...

Sometimes we commit a sin that is a once and done thing – we may not even feel really guilty about it – like telling a white lie or crossing a boundary a little too far that probably shouldn’t have been crossed, but you know, these things happen – and anyway – it’s not like we’ve committed murder or something... So, we ask for forgiveness, and the slate’s wiped clean. It doesn’t usually feel like enough to label us as sinners.

And then there are the sins that seem to be cyclical – we commit them, we ask forgiveness, and then we can’t seem to keep ourselves from committing the exact same sin over and over again. You know this kind of sin - like lying, watching pornography, pushing the same boundary with our partner over and over, and of course, swearing...

These sins are frustrating to us, and the more we commit them, the more we find it hard to believe that God would forgive the exact same sin over and over and over again so that sometimes we get to a point where we’re not sure that God actually does?

And we feel the weight of the title, sinner, bearing down on our shoulders. It’s the weight of accumulated guilt.

And then there are the sins that are simply too big. They feel unforgivable. The lie that tears apart a family. The violence that injures the person you should love most. Even an action that seems small but insidiously and destructively festers inside of us and those we have hurt. These sins are full of condemnation from the outside world, and full of condemnation from within ourselves. We don’t know how to forgive ourselves, and if we can’t forgive ourselves, we can’t let others forgive us either. We are sinners in the hands of an angry God.

In the scripture from 1 Timothy for today, we see Paul writing about his own sin. He is bold enough to admit in writing some of the many things he has done wrong…. He says he was a blasphemer, a persecutor, and a violent man – put bluntly, he says in verse 15, he was a sinner. And not just a sinner but the foremost of sinners – the worst – the prototype – the example we can all measure ourselves by. Paul - he’s done it all.

What does it say about our God and about us, as sinners and God’s people, that the person God chose to be the foremost apostle and establisher of the early church was such a blatant sinner? This week, as we continue to discuss how sin is handled in the scriptures and in our own lives, do we think that God’s choice and use of Paul might give us hope and possibility for transformation in our own lives? Do you recognize sin in your life? Do you think God might have a plan still for you?

FOCUS READING

1 Timothy 1:12-13a (NRSV)

I am grateful to Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because he judged me faithful and appointed me to his service, even though I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and a man of violence.