Starting Over

DAILY BYTE

As we conclude this week’s devotions on the broad theme of dealing with conflict, we look at Jesus’ teaching about conflict within the church.

Here’s the passage from Matthew 18:15-17:

‘If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses.

If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax-collector.’

The process that Jesus envisions for dealing with conflict within the church has as its clear motivation the restoration of relationship within the community. By dealing directly with the one who has wronged you, you are enabling your relationship with that person to be restored. According to Jesus, this is a responsibility that falls on the one who is sinned against!

Recently I heard of someone who was forever being ‘stood up’ by a friend. So this person courageously approached the friend and pointed out what she was doing. The friend was largely unaware of her behaviour, and so now has the opportunity to do things differently. Had the person who was always being ‘stood up’ not said anything, chances are the friendship may have slowly sputtered and died.

What joy there is when relationship is restored after hurt has been caused.

When such reconciliation does not happen, Jesus envisages the circle of shared responsibility widening to include one or two others, and indeed the entire church community if need be. Not because he wanted conflicts between individuals to be escalated into a major community palaver, but because he instinctively understood that an unresolved conflict between two individuals impacts the entire community of faith. And so the entire church community has both an interest and responsibility in seeing that conflict is resolved.

But what happens when not even the engagement of the entire church can convince someone of their wrongdoing that is fracturing the life of the community at large? Well, according to Jesus, we should treat such a person as a Gentile and a tax-collector!

WHAT??? Did Jesus really say that??? (Some biblical scholars question whether he actually did.) But before we rush to the conclusion that Jesus is saying that we should hoof such wrongdoers out the church, we must remember what his attitude was to Gentiles and tax-collectors. These so-called “outsiders” were of course the special focus of the embracing, inclusive appeal of the Gospel.

Eugene Peterson’s translation of this passage is most helpful here:

If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him — work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend. If he won't listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won't listen, tell the church. If he won't listen to the church, you'll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God's forgiving love.

What Jesus is saying is that those who will not be reconciled because they refuse to acknowledge their wrongdoing, despite the best efforts of the church community at large, are demonstrating that they have not begun to understand what it means to be part of the church. And so special effort is needed to reach out to them, to draw them in to an authentic understanding of what belonging to the body of Christ is all about.

Indeed, in the verses immediately preceding this passage in Matthew 18, Jesus tells the story of the shepherd who goes out searching for the one lost sheep, and concludes the story by saying that it is the will of the Father that not even one of the little ones should be lost.

What a challenge to us as we deal with conflict in the church. And what a reminder of the lengths to which we all are called to go to ensure that the beautiful gift of community is held on to, even in the face of difficult struggles when we’d far rather just let certain people go.

PRAY AS YOU GO

Lord God, we pray for your Church throughout the world, and for every local expression of it. We pray that the beautiful gift of Christian community would be cherished by all who belong to the Body of Christ. And in those difficult relationships where real hurt has been caused, help us to respond with truthful resolve and long-suffering love, that we might graciously be your instruments of healing and reconciliation. Amen.