READING: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
Having a living faith is the central focus of this entire Lenten programme. A living faith that really makes a practical, tangible difference in how we live our lives. Such a faith is rooted in Christ and is continually growing in love. It nourishes who we are, gives us strength and courage to face life’s many challenges, and brings hope and joy to our everyday lives.
Nowhere is this more important, and necessary, than in our relationships with others. For our relationships with others touch the very core of our essential purpose as people. To paraphrase the well-know African ubuntu proverb: People are only truly people when they are in relationship with other people.
So what difference will a faith that is rooted in Christ and growing in love make to our relationships? What are some of the vital signs of healthy relationships that, if evident in our lives, will point to a living faith actively at work within us? There are, of course, many - but here are some brief reflections on just two.
Acceptance
Learning to let go of our natural tendencies to dominate and control others, and coming to a place of deep acceptance of who they are, is a vital sign of healthy relationships. The illusion that we can change people is precisely that - an illusion. The sooner we come to realise that our agendas to try to change those around us only cause alienation, frustration and unhappiness, the better. This is the costly nature of unconditional love, as we come to acknowledge that there are things about those closest to us that we would honestly prefer to be different, but we’re called to love and accept them as they are, regardless. And that we will continue to love and accept them as they are, even if they never change.
This does not mean that we have no part to play in the growth and maturation of others, in which tremendous transformation can happen in their lives. Far from it! One of the principle channels that God uses to reach people is other people. And we are an important resource in God’s hands for God’s work of transformation to unfold. But we need to remember what our part in this process is. It’s our unconditional acceptance of people as they are that can provide for them the space to discover who they have been created to be, and to begin to live out of that identity more and more. This is precisely what God’s transformative work does - it restores people to their true selves.
Again, this does not mean that destructive and inappropriate behaviour should simply be tolerated and never challenged. ‘Speaking the truth in love’ (Eph 4:15) is an essential part of healthy relationships. But there’s a world of difference between addressing inappropriate behaviour, and trying to change who somebody is. Letting go of every hint of domination and coercive control will be liberating and life-giving for any relationship.
Presence
Another vital sign of your capacity for life-giving relationship is your capacity to be truly present with people. I love the story in Mark 5:21-43 when Jesus is on the way to Jairus’ house whose daughter is critically ill, and a woman with a severe bleeding disorder snuck up in the crowd to touch Jesus’ cloak. And Jesus stopped to find out who had touched him, and then listened to this woman’s story, and then dismissed her with his blessing of peace and promise of wholeness. It’s a beautiful story which speaks of Jesus’ remarkable presence to those around him. Which, not surprisingly, was experienced as a healing presence.
It’s a challenging reminder to us that the investment of ourselves in our interactions with others is the greatest gift that we can bring to them. This is what children need most of all from their parents. It’s what spouses need most of all from each other. In fact, for any relationship to experience some form of authentic depth, it requires the gift of presence being given as abundantly as possible.
PUTTING FAITH INTO ACTION:
Think of somebody who is a source of great frustration or stress for you. Assume that the things about them that you dislike are not going to change. Now, in the light of that recognition, what can you do to love them as they are?
When last did you really listen - without interruption or judgement - to those in your life that are closest to you? What could you do about this?
Really playing with children is not only good for them, it is like food for our souls - as children’s capacity for acceptance and presence, generally speaking, is far greater than adults’. What are you doing to take hold of this gift - with your own children, grandchildren, nieces & nephews?
PRAYER:
Lord God, you have made us to be in relationship, apart from which we would literally wither and die. Help us to embrace this fundamental dimension of who we are, and to recognise the incredible gift that it is to us. May our relationships be forged by our faith, that they may come to reflect more and more the same qualities of unconditional acceptance and loving presence that you, so graciously, show to us. Amen.
Tuesday, 2 March 2010
Monday, 1 March 2010
Day 11 - People of Sacred Worth
READING: 2 Corinthians 3:16-18
This week we’ll be exploring the difference that a living faith makes to our relationships.
The first relationship we’ll be focusing on is the relationship that we each have with our own selves. For the quality of this relationship, in large measure, influences the quality of every other relationship we have, including our relationship with God.
The sad reality is that many people do not have a good relationship with themselves. In fact, many people don’t even like themselves very much. They are painfully aware of their faults and failings. They are aware of the dark thoughts that go on in the hidden corners of their minds. They feel inadequate, worthless, unlovable.
The truth is that everyone, in some way or another, has made a total hash of their lives, whether they’re consciously aware of it or not. The Bible speaks about the reality called sin, and without apology or qualification declares that “ALL have sinned and have fallen short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23). This is our common lot as people together. As fallen humanity we all find ourselves in the same boat.
But there is an even greater truth than that of our collective depravity. It is the truth of our individual belovedness that is continually affirmed by God, who sees each one of us as precious, cherished children of sacred and infinite worth. One of the great tasks of our faith is to come to see ourselves as God sees us, and to believe that this is who we most truly are wondrously made by God, bearing God’s own image and likeness within us.
There’s a great bumper sticker that puts it like this:
I know I must be somebody
‘Cos God don’t make no junk!
When we embrace this truth, it loosens our tight-fisted grasping of old ideas as to who we are, and allows us to come face-to-face with the God in whose image we have been made and into whose likeness we are being constantly transformed. Listen to these powerful words from 2 Corinthians 3:16-18, as Eugene Peterson translates it:
Whenever they turn to face God...God removes the veil and there they are—face to face! They suddenly recognised that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiselled stone. And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old constricting legislation is recognised as obsolete. We’re free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION:
As a person of sacred worth, you deserve to be respected, cared for and cherished. But this has to start with you. So how can you treat yourself with greater respect and take better care of yourself? Think about your needs for wholesome food, exercise, sleep, solitude and recreation—what changes are you needing to make?
Who are the people who affirm who you are, and help you to see that you are a person of sacred worth? What can you do to connect with them more consistently?
PRAYER:
Thank you gracious God that I am a beloved child in your sight. Thank you that you look upon me with delight, that you smile when you hear my name, that you regard me as precious beyond price. Help me to believe that what you see in me is true. Help me to trust that I am a person of sacred worth. Help me to see that not even the worst things that I have done are greater than your love for me, your capacity to forgive, and your passionate desire to see me living out my true identity as the person you have created me to be, reflecting your glory and radiating your love. Amen.
This week we’ll be exploring the difference that a living faith makes to our relationships.
The first relationship we’ll be focusing on is the relationship that we each have with our own selves. For the quality of this relationship, in large measure, influences the quality of every other relationship we have, including our relationship with God.
The sad reality is that many people do not have a good relationship with themselves. In fact, many people don’t even like themselves very much. They are painfully aware of their faults and failings. They are aware of the dark thoughts that go on in the hidden corners of their minds. They feel inadequate, worthless, unlovable.
The truth is that everyone, in some way or another, has made a total hash of their lives, whether they’re consciously aware of it or not. The Bible speaks about the reality called sin, and without apology or qualification declares that “ALL have sinned and have fallen short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23). This is our common lot as people together. As fallen humanity we all find ourselves in the same boat.
But there is an even greater truth than that of our collective depravity. It is the truth of our individual belovedness that is continually affirmed by God, who sees each one of us as precious, cherished children of sacred and infinite worth. One of the great tasks of our faith is to come to see ourselves as God sees us, and to believe that this is who we most truly are wondrously made by God, bearing God’s own image and likeness within us.
There’s a great bumper sticker that puts it like this:
I know I must be somebody
‘Cos God don’t make no junk!
When we embrace this truth, it loosens our tight-fisted grasping of old ideas as to who we are, and allows us to come face-to-face with the God in whose image we have been made and into whose likeness we are being constantly transformed. Listen to these powerful words from 2 Corinthians 3:16-18, as Eugene Peterson translates it:
Whenever they turn to face God...God removes the veil and there they are—face to face! They suddenly recognised that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiselled stone. And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old constricting legislation is recognised as obsolete. We’re free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION:
As a person of sacred worth, you deserve to be respected, cared for and cherished. But this has to start with you. So how can you treat yourself with greater respect and take better care of yourself? Think about your needs for wholesome food, exercise, sleep, solitude and recreation—what changes are you needing to make?
Who are the people who affirm who you are, and help you to see that you are a person of sacred worth? What can you do to connect with them more consistently?
PRAYER:
Thank you gracious God that I am a beloved child in your sight. Thank you that you look upon me with delight, that you smile when you hear my name, that you regard me as precious beyond price. Help me to believe that what you see in me is true. Help me to trust that I am a person of sacred worth. Help me to see that not even the worst things that I have done are greater than your love for me, your capacity to forgive, and your passionate desire to see me living out my true identity as the person you have created me to be, reflecting your glory and radiating your love. Amen.
Saturday, 27 February 2010
Day 10 - Looking back on Week 1
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION:
- As you look back on this past week, what insights or observations come to mind that you would not want to forget? Write them down.
- What changes would you like to make, or have started making at home that will enable it to be a place that expresses more truly the faith that you profess?
- Take the time to write out a prayer for your home. Don’t rush. Work on it and change it if necessary, until it expresses the desire of your heart for your home. You might want to print it out and have it laminated, or write it out beautifully and have it framed, and display it somewhere where you and your family can read it often. I’m sure that it’ll be a prayer that God is eager to answer:
Friday, 26 February 2010
Day 9 - TV: The Plug-In Drug
READING:Romans 12:1-2
It’s been aptly described as ‘the plug-in drug’. Which is quite an accurate description of what television can easily become in our lives. It’s estimated that in many countries of the world, by the time people reach retirement age they would have spent as much as 15 years of their life staring at a TV screen.
It’s assumed nowadays that virtually every home has at least one TV set. A colleague of mine, who doesn’t own a TV and hasn’t for years, had a major fight on his hands when he tried to convince the SABC that he really didn’t need to pay for a TV license. They could not accept that this was possible. He is a rare exception. For most of us, the TV is a fixture in our homes.
For the most part TV is used as a relaxing distraction. As you focus on the screen, your own thought activity becomes suspended, the details of your life recede and you become temporarily free of yourself. All of which, quite frankly, has its place. But listen to these insights of Eckhart Tolle, who writes:
When watching television, the tendency is for you to fall below thought, not rise above it. Television has this in common with alcohol and certain other drugs. While it provides some relief from your mind, you again pay a high price: loss of consciousness. Like those drugs, it too has a strong addictive quality. You reach for the remote control to switch off and instead find yourself going through all the channels. Half and hour or an hour later, you are still watching, still going through the channels. The off button is the only one your finger seems unable to press. You are still watching, usually not because anything of interest has caught your attention, but precisely because there is nothing of interest to watch. Once you are hooked, the more trivial, the more meaningless, it is, the more addictive it becomes.
Now, it would be just silly to suggest that TV is just trivial and meaningless. There are many programmes (well, maybe not that many) that are truly stimulating and thought-provoking or at least creatively entertaining in the best sense of the word. TV can offer challenging and incisive social commentary; and is a major source of news. Make no mistake, come the Soccer World Cup later this year, TV will be the primary tool connecting the entire world around that major sporting event.
But we should not be naïve about the norms and values that we subject ourselves to every time we turn on the telly. Crass consumerism, legitimising violence and distorting the place and purpose of sex are the unholy trinity that TV consistently serves up.
As people of faith we are called to a greater vigilance and awareness in this area. I am convinced that putting far stricter boundaries in place as to the use of television in the home, is one of the single greatest things we can do to help to transform our homes into the sanctuaries that God intends them to be.
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION:
PRAYER:
God of truth and life, we live in a world in which the presence and influence of television is a reality—a reality that so often seems at odds with the truth and life that we see in you. Give to us discerning hearts and disciplined minds in our use of television. Help us to establish the appropriate boundaries that will safeguard us from the addictive and destructive influence that TV will otherwise be in our lives.
We are painfully aware that there are many who appear on TV in your name, but who seem more concerned about wealth and riches and pointing fingers of blame than they are about the message of the cross.
And so we thank you and pray for those people and organisations who are seeking to use TV in truly wholesome and life-giving ways. We pray especially for the Mass Media Project who produced the Heartlines series, and we thank you for the means of grace that has been in our country. Continue to bless their efforts we pray. Amen.
It’s been aptly described as ‘the plug-in drug’. Which is quite an accurate description of what television can easily become in our lives. It’s estimated that in many countries of the world, by the time people reach retirement age they would have spent as much as 15 years of their life staring at a TV screen.
It’s assumed nowadays that virtually every home has at least one TV set. A colleague of mine, who doesn’t own a TV and hasn’t for years, had a major fight on his hands when he tried to convince the SABC that he really didn’t need to pay for a TV license. They could not accept that this was possible. He is a rare exception. For most of us, the TV is a fixture in our homes.
For the most part TV is used as a relaxing distraction. As you focus on the screen, your own thought activity becomes suspended, the details of your life recede and you become temporarily free of yourself. All of which, quite frankly, has its place. But listen to these insights of Eckhart Tolle, who writes:
When watching television, the tendency is for you to fall below thought, not rise above it. Television has this in common with alcohol and certain other drugs. While it provides some relief from your mind, you again pay a high price: loss of consciousness. Like those drugs, it too has a strong addictive quality. You reach for the remote control to switch off and instead find yourself going through all the channels. Half and hour or an hour later, you are still watching, still going through the channels. The off button is the only one your finger seems unable to press. You are still watching, usually not because anything of interest has caught your attention, but precisely because there is nothing of interest to watch. Once you are hooked, the more trivial, the more meaningless, it is, the more addictive it becomes.
Now, it would be just silly to suggest that TV is just trivial and meaningless. There are many programmes (well, maybe not that many) that are truly stimulating and thought-provoking or at least creatively entertaining in the best sense of the word. TV can offer challenging and incisive social commentary; and is a major source of news. Make no mistake, come the Soccer World Cup later this year, TV will be the primary tool connecting the entire world around that major sporting event.
But we should not be naïve about the norms and values that we subject ourselves to every time we turn on the telly. Crass consumerism, legitimising violence and distorting the place and purpose of sex are the unholy trinity that TV consistently serves up.
As people of faith we are called to a greater vigilance and awareness in this area. I am convinced that putting far stricter boundaries in place as to the use of television in the home, is one of the single greatest things we can do to help to transform our homes into the sanctuaries that God intends them to be.
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION:
- How much time, on average, do you spend watching TV each week? (Dare to be honest.) Do you think it’s worth it, or would you like this to change?
- What are some of the creative alternatives that you could be doing in the time that you’re currently spending in front of the TV?
- What influence is TV having in shaping your children’s picture of the world? How do you feel about this? What creative changes do you need to make?
PRAYER:
God of truth and life, we live in a world in which the presence and influence of television is a reality—a reality that so often seems at odds with the truth and life that we see in you. Give to us discerning hearts and disciplined minds in our use of television. Help us to establish the appropriate boundaries that will safeguard us from the addictive and destructive influence that TV will otherwise be in our lives.
We are painfully aware that there are many who appear on TV in your name, but who seem more concerned about wealth and riches and pointing fingers of blame than they are about the message of the cross.
And so we thank you and pray for those people and organisations who are seeking to use TV in truly wholesome and life-giving ways. We pray especially for the Mass Media Project who produced the Heartlines series, and we thank you for the means of grace that has been in our country. Continue to bless their efforts we pray. Amen.
Thursday, 25 February 2010
Day 8 - Meals
READING: Luke 7:36-50
Meal-times played a hugely significant role in the ministry of Jesus. Over and over again it was at a meal-table that Jesus revealed truths about the Kingdom of God, sometimes through his words but more often than not through his actions.
Today’s gospel reading (Lk 7:36-50) is an excellent example. Jesus had accepted a dinner invitation at the home of a Pharisee called Simon. While he was reclining at the table an ‘embarrassing’ scene unfolds — certainly for the Pharisee though not for Jesus. A woman, with her own story of shame and brokenness to tell, stood at Jesus’ feet weeping, and then wiped his feet with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. The Pharisee was scandalised that Jesus allowed this woman of ill repute to carry on in this way. For him, it called Jesus’ very identity into question.
But Jesus would have none of it. He cuts right through the Pharisee’s judgementalism, and then deals graciously with the woman, declaring her sins to be forgiven and telling her to go in peace. The point of this story, and many others like it in the gospels, is that for Jesus a meal table was never just about food and eating. It was a fertile place for the deeper needs of life to be addressed—in this case a woman’s need for acceptance and forgiveness, and a Pharisee’s self-righteous blindness.
Think about some of the memorable meal-tables that you’ve sat around in your life. Can you remember one from your childhood, or maybe the one in your first home after getting married? Maybe there’s a particular meal-table from a special occasion that stands out for you, a 21st birthday celebration, perhaps; or maybe a family reunion. What are some of the memories and associations that you have with those tables? What life and grace did they offer? I have a hunch that you may not be able to remember the details of the food that was eaten there, but other powerful memories may certainly remain.
I remember a table in our kitchen when I was growing up. It was a big kitchen, with space enough for a large round table that could easily seat 6 to 8 people. That’s where our family ate most of our meals. The table was a bit wonky, and so we’d often be seated with our food in front of us, and my dad would start turning the table until it was steady, by which time your plate of food was on the other side of the table.
But what I remember most is that everyone in our family had their place around that table. It was a place of belonging and of nurture where each evening I could tell the story of what happened at cricket practice that day, and listen to my sisters’ and parents’ stories as well. All the while being fed and nourished by my mom’s wonderful cooking. As I think back, I can see that our kitchen table was at the very heart of our home and that the gifts that were shared there were some of the very best that God could give.
So, think about the meal table in your home. How often does it get used? By whom? What are the sorts of things that happen there? How could your meal table become a channel of blessing within your home, where the gifts of belonging, acceptance, togetherness, nourishment, reconciliation, conversation, kindness and care can be freely shared? Sadly, many families have simply gotten out of the habit of eating together, and so have effectively cut themselves off from this magnificent means of grace.
Of course, a meal table can be an agonising place when there’s unresolved conflict in the home. The long silences at supper time speak volumes of the need for reconciliation and forgiveness. This is even more reason to sit down at a meal-table, as there at least the possibility exists for underlying tensions to be acknowledged and hopefully brought into the light.
The movie Babette’s Feast offers a beautiful illustration of the gentle grace that is at work in good food lovingly prepared and shared. In the movie, a small community sit down to a sumptuous feast, where the relational tensions and conflicts among them are resolved as they eat and drink together. Of course, there is no set formula for this and no guarantee that any particular meal will be a time of reconciliation. But what can be said is that this is the potential of every meal that is shared with openness and love. Maybe that’s why Jesus chose a meal—Holy Communion—to be the central act of remembrance of his reconciling love.
PUTTING FAITH INTO ACTION:
PRAYER
Lord Jesus Christ, meals were special times for you to share and show your love. May that be increasingly true for me and my family. Show me what I can do to allow this important and necessary part of every day to become a source of grace and life for all who join me at my table. Amen
Meal-times played a hugely significant role in the ministry of Jesus. Over and over again it was at a meal-table that Jesus revealed truths about the Kingdom of God, sometimes through his words but more often than not through his actions.
Today’s gospel reading (Lk 7:36-50) is an excellent example. Jesus had accepted a dinner invitation at the home of a Pharisee called Simon. While he was reclining at the table an ‘embarrassing’ scene unfolds — certainly for the Pharisee though not for Jesus. A woman, with her own story of shame and brokenness to tell, stood at Jesus’ feet weeping, and then wiped his feet with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. The Pharisee was scandalised that Jesus allowed this woman of ill repute to carry on in this way. For him, it called Jesus’ very identity into question.
But Jesus would have none of it. He cuts right through the Pharisee’s judgementalism, and then deals graciously with the woman, declaring her sins to be forgiven and telling her to go in peace. The point of this story, and many others like it in the gospels, is that for Jesus a meal table was never just about food and eating. It was a fertile place for the deeper needs of life to be addressed—in this case a woman’s need for acceptance and forgiveness, and a Pharisee’s self-righteous blindness.
Think about some of the memorable meal-tables that you’ve sat around in your life. Can you remember one from your childhood, or maybe the one in your first home after getting married? Maybe there’s a particular meal-table from a special occasion that stands out for you, a 21st birthday celebration, perhaps; or maybe a family reunion. What are some of the memories and associations that you have with those tables? What life and grace did they offer? I have a hunch that you may not be able to remember the details of the food that was eaten there, but other powerful memories may certainly remain.
I remember a table in our kitchen when I was growing up. It was a big kitchen, with space enough for a large round table that could easily seat 6 to 8 people. That’s where our family ate most of our meals. The table was a bit wonky, and so we’d often be seated with our food in front of us, and my dad would start turning the table until it was steady, by which time your plate of food was on the other side of the table.
But what I remember most is that everyone in our family had their place around that table. It was a place of belonging and of nurture where each evening I could tell the story of what happened at cricket practice that day, and listen to my sisters’ and parents’ stories as well. All the while being fed and nourished by my mom’s wonderful cooking. As I think back, I can see that our kitchen table was at the very heart of our home and that the gifts that were shared there were some of the very best that God could give.
So, think about the meal table in your home. How often does it get used? By whom? What are the sorts of things that happen there? How could your meal table become a channel of blessing within your home, where the gifts of belonging, acceptance, togetherness, nourishment, reconciliation, conversation, kindness and care can be freely shared? Sadly, many families have simply gotten out of the habit of eating together, and so have effectively cut themselves off from this magnificent means of grace.
Of course, a meal table can be an agonising place when there’s unresolved conflict in the home. The long silences at supper time speak volumes of the need for reconciliation and forgiveness. This is even more reason to sit down at a meal-table, as there at least the possibility exists for underlying tensions to be acknowledged and hopefully brought into the light.
The movie Babette’s Feast offers a beautiful illustration of the gentle grace that is at work in good food lovingly prepared and shared. In the movie, a small community sit down to a sumptuous feast, where the relational tensions and conflicts among them are resolved as they eat and drink together. Of course, there is no set formula for this and no guarantee that any particular meal will be a time of reconciliation. But what can be said is that this is the potential of every meal that is shared with openness and love. Maybe that’s why Jesus chose a meal—Holy Communion—to be the central act of remembrance of his reconciling love.
PUTTING FAITH INTO ACTION:
- Make a commitment as a family to sit down to a meal together every day. If this feels like too big a step, make the commitment to sit down to a meal together at least once a week.
- For the rest of this season of Lent, ban TV suppers.
- If you live on your own, all of this talk about meal tables may seem irrelevant to you, and maybe even quite painful. But your meal table can still be a place where you consciously gather loved ones around you. You might even want to put photographs of them on the table. As you eat, be open to the love that they have to share and the love you have for them, and your meal times will nourish not only your body, but also your soul.
- Practice hospitality. Invite others to share a sit-down meal in your home.
PRAYER
Lord Jesus Christ, meals were special times for you to share and show your love. May that be increasingly true for me and my family. Show me what I can do to allow this important and necessary part of every day to become a source of grace and life for all who join me at my table. Amen
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