A Deep Challenge at the Heart of God

DAILY BYTE

The argument

My best friend and I have only argued – really truly gotten so feisty that we told each other we should never speak about the topic again – once in the whole of our friendship. And I have known her for over ten years… Oh, it was a heck of an argument, and I remember it well…

We were sharing a flat over a summer during varsity, working at internships. And since we were students doing virtually unpaid jobs, this was, as you can imagine, a very small flat. Such close quarters seem either to make for extremely close friendships or worst enemies. But, she and I were like sisters, so while we had our tiffs, we usually managed graciously enough to forgive each other for the ways we daily stepped (sometimes literally) on each others’ toes. One day, however, we were getting ready to go out for dinner, doing the close quarters dance, weaving in and out of the bathroom, barely missing singeing one another with the curling iron, and for some unknown reason, she said, “You know, there are just some things that are unforgiveable.” To which I replied, perhaps a bit too hastily, “No, no I don’t think there are. All sins are equal, and it’s not for us to decide what is forgivable and what is not.”

Ayayay. It was as though I had just pushed all of her buttons at once. You would’ve thought I had said, let’s go bungee jump off the Eiffel Tower while shooting off firecrackers from our hips, throwing peanuts to the crowd, and singing God Bless the USA. Her response was, “You’ve got to be kidding me… How can you possibly say that all sins are equal? Do you honestly think that we’re supposed to forgive people like Hitler for slaughtering thousands of people the same way that I forgive you for smudging toothpaste on my shirt?” Good question. At the time, I insisted that it may be hard, but of course we must forgive both sins the same way.

Unsurprisingly, she persisted: “So, you’re telling me that if people brutally killed my father, I should just forgive them? You’ve got to be joking – I would rather die.” To which I replied, as our debate heated up to scorching levels, “Well, that makes sense – because you would die. Your insides would fester from all of that built up animosity.” Once again, perhaps it wasn’t the most sensitive remark… Because finally, she said, “You know, I think we just should never talk about things like this, including politics and religion, ever again.”

Can you imagine best friends who could never talk about politics, religion, and the deeply troubling but all too real fact that in life we are on a constant journey of learning how to forgive? Who among us has never grappled with whether or not to forgive someone? Who has never needed the forgiveness of others?

I am hugely thankful that even though that dialogue with my best friend over five years ago led us to a conversational dead end, we are now in the process of learning to discuss these things together and listen to one another more carefully. We still disagree about many things, but I think we may be starting to realize that forgiveness on all levels is at the heart of what makes such relationships tick. And as all of us in every relationship belong to God, forgiveness seems to be what makes the heart of God tick, as well. This week we will be exploring the challenging, long journey of forgiveness. We acknowledge that it is difficult – perhaps even seeming impossible. And yet, we also acknowledge the life-giving power of this journey with one another and with God.

PRAY AS YOU GO

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory for ever and ever. Amen.

SCRIPTURE READING

Matthew 18:21-22

Then Peter came and said to him, "Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.