Identity: Who are you? - The True Self

FOCUS SCRIPTURE

Colossians 3:1-17

DAILY BYTE

Yesterday we started speaking about the false self, that constructed, accumulated identity that we put on in order to operate in the world, but which doesn’t stem from the very deepest parts of who we truly are. We suggested yesterday that living out of the false self is an exhausting and agonising way to live, precisely because the false self is so very fragile and fickle - being dependent on very undependable things all around it to affirm its worth and sustain its existence. The false self is inherently insecure, constantly seeking affirmation and reassurance that it’s OK. It’s easily embarrassed, shamed, and quickly takes offence. It clings frantically to what it assumes it cannot live without, and is constantly afraid of losing that which it considers most dear.

If this, in any way describes you, there is good news. The good news is that this, in fact, is NOT you! Not the essential you! If these things describe your experience right now, it’s simply an indication that you’re living out of the false self, which means that there is the wonderful potential for you to experience a profound liberation. It’s the liberation of allowing who you truly are to shape the life that you’re living in the world.

Because the truth of all of us is that beyond our nationality, culture or race; beyond the work we do, the things we possess, the roles we play, the ideas we hold; beyond our achievements and triumphs, our failures and disasters - beyond all of this is something far more fundamental to who we truly are.

It’s that part of us that is simply able to be, utterly unselfconscious and yet at the same time fully aware of who we are in each present moment, accepting of all that is without any judgement, loving all that is without any clinging attachment, deeply secure in our belovedness, open to the gift of others as they are without any need to manipulate or control them, endlessly curious before the great mystery of life, wholly trusting in the goodness and grace of God to hold all things together in love, including us. This is what is meant by the true self, and far from being an impossible and unattainable dream, it is the most real thing about us. Jesus put it like this when he said, “The kingdom of God is within you!” (Luke 17:21).

Awakening to the true self, and beginning to live out of it more and more initiates the most liberating and transformative journey that we can ever undertake. This is one of the central tasks of the spiritual life, and part of God’s saving work within us.

Now I’m aware that many people may find this language of the true and false selves strange. Some might even want to dismiss this as ‘unChristian’ or ’unbiblical’. There really is no need for such concern. The language may be a little different, but the underlying truth is something that Paul, in particular, wrote about. Consider the following stunning passage:

Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. (Colossians 3:3-4, The Message)

Paul then continues just a little further on in that chapter:

Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts. (Colossians 3:9-15, NIV)

QUESTION FOR REFLECTION:

Think of somebody you know who is ‘comfortable in their own skin’, who exudes a peaceful presence and is deeply accepting of others. (These are all tell-tale signs of someone living out of their true self.) What happens to you when you are with them? What lessons can you draw from them for your own life?

PRAYER

Dear Lord God. I want to live more and more out of my true self - wondrously made in your own image and likeness. I want my life to be a benediction, to be a healing reminder to others that you are a loving God. I want to be someone who brings out the best in others. On my own this is impossible. But with you all things are possible. Help me please. Amen.